A Shocking Perspective

Had an extraordinary conversation yesterday. I know that there are better men out there. Posting a very short transcript of the latter part of the conversation for the benefit of women folk. It was a shocking revelation and took me a while to calm myself and pen it down verbatim.

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Guy - "I do not want any dowry. I am totally against it. But I absolutely want a working wife."
Me - "Thats big of you but why the insistence on a working wife?"
Guy - "So she can pay for her own food and board. After all if you actually look at the genesis of the dowry system, it was meant to help a husband take care of his wife. But today with all this women's empowerment, that is an outdated concept."
Me - "Wow! Interesting! So tell me why not get yourself a paying guest instead of a wife?"
Guy - "Well! Don't get me wrong. I am not an unfeeling guy. I will give my wife pocket money too for all the work she does at home."
Me - "Oh so you mean you'll pay her for her services"
Guy -  "God, your words are ....veryyyy...harsh"
Me - "Dude, what you are trying to say is that I have hit the nail on the head. And what you really need is a paying guest, a maid and regular visits to kalighat."
Guy - "Oh you are rude"
Me - "Oh you are lucky, you are on the other side of a telephone!"
End of conversation.

I would not consider myself disillusioned but is it perhaps time we just stopped reading fairy tales to our daughters?

What is not, was not meant to be - Perhaps

Every once in a while, looking into the mirror that was your past, you wish life gave you a second chance. A chance to have taken the risk and confessed your true feelings which you hid for fear of hurting those you love. A chance to take a chance. A chance to reach out for that special someone you could have had. A chance to experience what could have been. A chance to at least be able to talk honestly to each other just once, before you parted forever. A chance to allow what was perhaps not meant to be. A chance to investigate all those looks that passed and seemed so full of meaning. A chance for either to have shown more courage.

They said you were wrong for me. You had similar doubts for yourself. They said you were older & smarter. I already knew that. They said you would tire of me soon and I would soon slip down your priorities. I was afraid to prove them right. The pain is hard to bear. Leaving the past behind is tough. Forgetting even tougher. The more you try to forget, the more you remember the silliest encounters. And then you realize that you really don't wish to forget, for they were all something special. And then in the clear and present, all you wish, is for the future to bring each as much happiness as possible to make up for the loss of being together.

State of the State

Reaching Kol on Dday! The city seems tense already they say. 'Why?', I ask. 'Elections happen across states. Why create tensions? Why do citizens put up with it? Why is it that the so called 'city of intellectuals' allows for the rule of a minority bunch of hooligans?'

For my part, I am still unsure which is the better party to win. Each shows equal probability for growth as well as disrepair. Once the heart of prosperity, Kolkata today, has not just fallen behind by atleast 15 years, but also reduced to being categorised as a tier two city! Hyderabad, Pune, Bangalore and Ahmedabad are now added to Tier 1!!!

My well wishers say I am an idealist. Well I say, it is better than being a pacifist. They say you need to be the change you want to see. I haven't done much for my state, I agree. So starting now, it begins. I will not change my plans and reach Kolkata on 13th come what may (despite what my well wishers say). Bring it on you 'social maggots'. Let's see what you have got.

Don't cower down to these vandals. I request the masses to stand up on their feet and protest for a safe and balanced Kolkata. Say no to bandhs. Say no to the mockery of democracy (in a socialist state). If you don't change now, you never will.

To my prized collection

Life has a strange way of teaching us lessons in friendship and trust. People who you never thought you could get along with, turn out to be the ones with the golden hearts. Then of course, you go ahead and make serious judgmental errors. It is hard to accept failure. But when you look back at all the writings on the wall, you are just glad to have learnt your lesson in time. That is when you remember your true friends and family who accept all your weirdness, put up with your crankiness, share the madness and love you nevertheless.

In our increasingly hectic lives, we often forget to thank and say "I love you" to those who really matter. This post is dedicated to all my real buddies for always being there for me when I needed you most. For somehow saying just the right words when I was at my lowest. For all the fights and making-ups. For calling me names that got my feet back on the ground! For discounting all my mistakes and harsh words. For never allowing me to mince words :). Celebrating the essence of our friendship cannot be just an annual event. Just a few words from you guys, light up my entire day. Your friendships makes everyday of my life special. Thank you guys and gals - for just being you.

Love from 'yours truly'.

To dream or to do?

An unfortunate legacy imposed on every Indian and more so a bong ever since one is born. Why does it always have to be a choice between Gandhi or Subhash? The fight for ideologies totally defeats the purpose. It isn't about respective success or failure either.

Both men had a dream and had the courage to follow through on it in whichever fashion they saw fit. That was all it was. The hype needs to be cut out at some point. So why not now?

Ideological justifications are for the lazy and weak-hearted. It is easiest to hide behind the excuse of ideology.

Our generation can do better. Our actions and not choices make us who we are. It is up to us therefore, to move out of this tragic situation and commit to doing rather than resting on past laurels.

India's Royal Jeopardy

Considering the spate of foolhardy statements by Rahul Gandhi over the years now, one can safely assume that he is on a rampage to compete against himself when it comes to stupidity. Perhaps his party high command bases his performance appraisal on an yearly quota of silly and immature statements to be made in public and a year on year hike on the number of such.

While being groomed for the PMO perhaps, he has been assigned on a blunder-fest fastrack. His success is perhaps measured as a function of the number of gravely-misinformed statements versus corresponding public outcries. As India's government sponsored royal family eagerly awaits the coronation of its heir apparent, we citizens are forced to bear a nail biting agony.

In keeping with the legacy of our political prince, perhaps one day Rahul Gandhi's autobiography will read - My Experiments with STUPIDITY.

On ungainly assets

I am just an ordinary girl in many ways. I love my clothes, trinkets, random and regular shopping activities just like any other girl and have quite a distinctive taste of my own in all of the above.

When it comes to cars however, let's just say my taste is not so discerning. A car to me is just an enclosed carriage that needs to deliver me from one point to the other while protecting me from sunburn, rain or inopportune accidents. Hence, is definitely not something that I like to fuss about.

My team members have been after my life these last few months over why I do not own a car of my own yet and prefer to just hire one. It is difficult to explain to guys why/how I failed so miserably at the driving lessons from my dear dad. Hence, using a comfortable facade of - "I am meant to be driven and not drive" - has served me well so far.

Don't get me wrong. While I can well appreciate the comfort of a luxury car, it would never concern me deeply while buying my own car (if I ever feel so inclined). My vehicle(s) of choice is simple and short -

1. Maruti 800 (a/c would be nice) for the average Indian road.
2. Second hand autorickshaw for the Hyderabad roads (no frills required).

An asset that depreciates faster than the weather and is associated with high recurring costs, I consider an economic liability. To those who are still gloating over your latest acquisition of a white elephant, hearty congratulations from' yours truly'.

The Happily Deluded

The traffic on Hyderabad roads follow certain strict rules. Coming back from work last night, I had a glimpse of what fundas lie behind some these rules. Let me list the rules first and desecrate some of their making as we trail along.

Rule 1
While on Hyd roads, a road is a road. There are no lanes!

Rule 1
While on a Hyd road, every slow moving traffic has all the permission to take the right path (lane...if I may)

Rule 1
If you have a two-wheeler and happen to be in Hyderabad, the roads are automatically your 'Baap ki Jaagir' (lawful inheritance). Feel free to swing, dance, run or crawl...oh and of course...use the right lane by all means :)

Rule 1
You must always stay ahead in the race. The Hyd crowd takes this dictum very seriously and apply it to their driving too...literally.

It is ok to start late...but shame on you if you fall behind in traffic.

Rule 1
The APSRTC buses are the indomitable Dadas aka DONS of the Hyd roads. No Gandhigiri for these bhaiyas though. At their benevolent best, you are allowed to trail behind them. However, since they suffer from more bad hair days than not, be prepared to incur their wrath & risk getting crushed anywhere/anytime.

Rule 1
A footpath is only an extension of the road for the discerning Hyderabad traffic players. Nothing more nothing less. If you can drive, by all means use the footpaths whenever you wish.

Rule 1
So what if you couldn't get your mono-flying license? All you need to fly on the Hyd roads, is a yellow bike with a pointy end and a girl to bring up your rear end. That's it... and you are ready to take off!

Rule 007
On Fridays and Saturdays, no two/three wheelers drive on the left side of the road. These are the 'Hafta Wasooli' days. Every law abiding traffic policeman worth his salt (or sugar, butter and the like) can be found on the streets. Don't worry about breaking a few traffic rules here and there...as long as you are not stopped by the police...you are doing well :)

Tidbits of fun facts I found online

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
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BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
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CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
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COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
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DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
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EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
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HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
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INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
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MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
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RAISIN: Grape with sunburn.
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SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
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SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
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TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
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TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
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YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
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WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Indians ka Paisa Lootao Morcha - IPL 'Premier' League

An article from 'The Hindu' so close to my heart that I just had to have it up here. Read on if you haven't already.

"Freebies for the IPL — at a time of savage food subsidy cuts for the poor — benefit four men who make the Forbes Billionaire List of 2010 and a few other, mere multi-millionaires.

And so the IPL fracas is now heading for its own Champions League. Union Cabinet Ministers, Union Ministers of State, Chief Ministers (and who knows a Governor or two might pop up yet) are being named as people trying to influence the bidding process. Both houses of Parliament are in uproar. The taxmen have launched a “survey.” Many in the media and politics are happy to reduce it all to issues of propriety or personality. For, the BCCI-IPL is one platform where the Congress and the BJP cohabit, normally with ease. Big money is, after all, a secular, bi-partisan space. (Or tri-partisan: let's not deny the central contribution of the NCP to this phenomenon.) It's also interesting that the media, though now compelled to give the IPL's underbelly some coverage, are still reluctant to ask larger, harder questions. To go beyond their Modi-Tharoor feeding frenzy. And to avoid induced amnesia.

It was just 10 years ago that cricket was rocked by the game's biggest-ever match-fixing scandal. That too had its centre of gravity in Indian cities, and involved Indian bookies and Indian businessmen. But along comes a new hyper-commercialised version of the game. It has scandal-waiting-to-happen written all over it and the media say “wow! This looks great,” promptly going into the “willing suspension of disbelief” mode. This venture had the right names, high glamour and, above all, big advertising and corporate power. There were obvious conflicts of interest (apart from what it did to cricket, the game) from day one. Here was Big Business in open embrace with its political patrons. There were also those who did not give the public office they held a fraction of the time or importance they gave to the BCCI-IPL. But few serious questions came up in the media.

Now there's a forced discussion of opaque dealings, bribes, and “we-know-how-to-deal-with-you” threats. Of shady investors, murky dealings and, possibly, large-scale tax evasion. Of franchisees alleging they were offered a $50 million bribe to exit. Or claiming that a Union Minister warned them to withdraw from the rodeo with grave threats. It all leads to things much bigger than Modi versus Tharoor or issues of “impropriety” (a nice, genteel word). Leave aside the narrow money details or the fact that some franchisees are thought to be losing tens of crores each year. Skip the fact that despite those losses, newer franchisees between them put up over Rs.3,000 crore for two teams that don't exist. Only a tiny band of journalists have at all shown the scepticism demanded of their profession. These few have stuck at it gamely only to find themselves isolated, mocked as party-poopers and the recipients of threats and abusive mail.

How about questions on public subsidies going to some of the richest people in the world? The BCCI-IPL cost the public crores of rupees each year in several ways. The waiving of entertainment tax worth Rs 10 crore -12 crore for the IPL in Maharashtra alone was discussed in the State's Assembly. It was little reported and less discussed in the media. Maharashtra has extended other support to the IPL, which is yet to be quantified. This, despite being a State whose debt will cross Rs. 200,000 crore in the coming year. And there are similar subsidies and write-offs extended to the BCCI-IPL in other States, other venues.

A whole raft of concealed freebies from public resources to the BCCI-IPL is also not discussed. We have no picture of their full scope. No questions either on why a public sector company should be billing itself as the “sponsor” of a team owned by the fourth richest man in the planet. No questions asked about issues ranging from super-cheap land leases and stadia rentals and low-cost stadia security. We don't even know what the total bill to the public is: just that it is probably in tens of crores. We do know that these supports to the IPL from public money come at a time when subsidies to the poor are being savaged. But we don't want to go down that road. An inquiry into the IPL must cover the BCCI as well and must record all the open and hidden write-offs and subsidies that both get.

Who stand to gain from the public wet-nursing of the IPL? Among others, four gentlemen who make the Forbes Billionaires List of 2010. Three of them are team owners and one is a title sponsor. All dollar billionaires and long-time residents on the Forbes List. Then there are the mere millionaires in the shape of Bollywood stars. For all these and other worthy people, governments bend over backwards to make concessions. Even as they slash food subsidies in a period of rising hunger. Big time partying is an integral part of the IPL show. Only look who is paying for that. Street argot has already begun to brand the IPL as Indian Paisa League or, more directly, India Paisa Loot.

But the BCCI and the IPL preside over huge sums in advertising. So even when the IPL angers the media by pushing them around on coverage restrictions, the media cave in. The larger silence continues. The strongest criticism of what has been going on (till the Kochi chaos) has come from Sports Minister M.S. Gill, an old-fashioned cricket lover actually worried about the game. Not from the media that cover the IPL. He has criticised the tax concessions and security subsidies that have hurt public security in the cities concerned while the IPL is on. It's also worth pointing out that Mr. Gill is the one Minister (of the four Ministers on your TV screens in the present drama) actually connected with sports in a legitimate way — and not tainted by scandal. But maybe that's natural: the IPL has little to do with sports.

The Sports Minister pointed out a long time ago that there were dangerous conflicts of interests at the top levels of the BCCI-IPL. He also told Karan Thapar on television that he found the idea of “letting off tax” (waivers for IPL) quite unacceptable. “This is a poor country. I never forget that. There is a huge deficit in the budget even this year ...” And went on to say that: “when business is earning it in the shape of these teams and whatever the structure, I think the legitimate tax should be taken and should be used for the country maybe even for sports, other sports.” Far from that happening, we are taking it from the public and handing it out to the billionaires.

Fire brigades in the cities have been muted or overruled in their objections to the IPL's ‘hospitality boxes' (where seats can cost you Rs. 40,000) as fire hazards. But some of these tickets also get you to a late night party with IPL stars and other dubious benefits. Some have raised the question of what this does to the players' performance the next day. But the party goes on. Nothing could be further removed from the lives of the ‘cricket crazy public' — whose supposed interests are invoked for every new spin to the game. IPL does not come cheap.

Mumbai's elite recently preened themselves on Earth Hour where the city saved some power by switching off lights for 60 minutes. Great savings could be made if all IPL games were played in daylight. There is something ugly about that much electricity consumed by a private profit entity (guzzling public money) in a season when Marathwada and Vidarbha suffer 12-15 hour power cuts. Something that always devastates the performance of their poorer children in the examinations. They could end up having (on paper at least) a Right to Education, but none to electricity.

With the IPL comes the convergence of the most important media trends: the ABC of Media — Advertising, Bollywood and Corporate Power. Corporate barons and Bollywood stars own cricket teams. One IPL team is owned by a newspaper. Other dailies have become ‘media partners' of IPL teams. Some Bollywood stars have ‘promotional agreements' for their films with TV channels who disguise their paid-for gushing over those films as “news.” Once national heroes, cricket's top icons are now ‘capital assets' of the franchise owners. Once proud of their disavowal of tobacco and liquor advertising, the icons now plug for the latter in surrogate form. And are linked to the former in other ways. And a once great game moves from heartfelt public ownership to a pocket-driven private one; from a national passion to a hyper-commercial nightmare."